Report of Sixth CPC :Influenced by Bachchan family?


Since the initial euphoria about the Pay Commission Report was dying out we thought of having a virtual survey of stake holders in order to find out as to who was saying what about the Commission report. While doing rounds of the corridors of power the glowfriend started with the humble Gungadeen peon in Ministry of Sensational Developments . Offcourse Gungadeen had heard the Babus deliberating over the report but all that he knows about his fate is that he would be getting a five figure salary in not too distant future. About the arrears part he was a bit depressed since “..20-25 hajar rupai may to pahli beti ki shaadi wala loan bhi nahi cover hoga….” (20-25 thousand would not even settle the loan for first daughter’s marriage) .

The ever cheerful  stenographer in the section Madam Ragini was also not so pleased with the belated announcement on six month’s maternity leave ” ….. jab bacche bade ho gai..” ( …now when Children have grown up) and for flexible working hours .”….Yeh bhi kaun si nai baat hai , ladies and officers to sab pahle hi apni marji se aatey jatey the.” (What is new about that , ladies and officers came and went as per their will earlier also). Under Secretary Mr. Bhattacharya popularly known as Bhatta Babu was still pouring over the excel sheet hosted by some enterprising “Arrear Calculator” on the website .”….. Yeh saab baaahut conphuson hai DA ka rate ka bare mein kuch theeek theek bola nahin , Khali JS and above ke liye report hai. Hamara kya banega lakh taka bhi nahin milega arrear mein. “ (it is all very confusing, DA calculation formula is not clear . All benefit is for JS and above).

We then knoked at the door of PA to JS in the MInistry. PA was a bit scared ” Jab se report aaya hai sahab bad mood mein hai .” (Sahab is in bad mood ever since the report has come). Still then glowfriend tried to take a chance. Mr.  Balasain was staring agitatedly at the laptop screen while browsing the download of CPC Report. It’s atrocious he said “See we sit here till 9 PM and type out cabinet notes , and it is the peon who corners all the benefit. When I started my job 30 years back a four figure salary was a status symbol . Now my peon will be getting five figure salary. I am shocked! ” . When asked about the arrear part Bala was still more upset .“Arrear of 3-4 Lakhs what would that get us ? A single room tenement in some JJ Colony ! And tell me how is the Government concerned with the mileage points that I earn on official journeys by air . How can the mileage points be monitored ?” . Having seen the mood of civil servants we decided to talk to some political bigwigs.

The Old comrade in CPI appeared quite agitated over the manner in which Tatas and Ambanis were taking over the country. “What will the middle class do with that illgotten money ? Buy Nano and what else?  See how the lowest paid workers are suffering everywhere . Is anyone bothered?”

The madam ex politician cum animal right activist  was quirte hurt when asked to comment on the headline “Peanuts for Monkeys” with reference to CPC Report. “Please spare the monkeys why do you degrade them like this” . The politician from South in sunglasses had however a different reaction to the cited headlines.”Monkeys are free to enjoy their peanuts but they should not make false claims regarding ancient underwater bridges.”
The politico from Bihar was also quite upset like all others ” Hum jo kuch bhi karta hai yeh log sab satyanash kar deta hai. Dekho hum rail ka kiraya itna kum kar diye ki ab hamar samadhi log bhi AC two tier mein ticket kharid ke chalta hai. Aur yeh log LTC may hawai jahaj permit karta hai . Sara chhota mota aadmi flight mein bhara rahta hai.”(Whatever I do these fellows spoil that. See I have reduced the train fare so much that even my relatives buy tickets for train travel. And these fellows are permitting air travel for LTC . All petty persons nowadays crowd the flights)
For the patriotic reigonal leader the Commission conspiracy is quite evident from the name of Commission itself. “Just see how they have doubled transport allowance . Who do you think will benefit… All Bihari Taxiwalas only. House rent…. they pay highest for Mumbai so that all Govt Servants from whole of the country may rush to this city.”

The best response was from the lady CM : “It is all conspiracy of Bachchans to ruin the economy of my State . Very soon our employees would ask for similar pay rise.” But how did she conclude that it was inspired by Bachchan influence? ” Because dekho yeh Abhishake Bachchan suggested in an ad that all individuals should have a number instead of name for identification. I hear that this Commission has done the same and officer’s seniority would now be known with a number. Yeh grade pay kya hai yahi to hai. Sub afsaron ko number de diya.” (What is this grade pay, they allotted numbers to all officers). Madam it appeared was agitated since all the fun in suspending and shunting senior bureaucrats had gone. A news item in future would perhaps read like “ CM today during her field visit to Rai Bareilly ordered suspension of A Kumar an officer of Grade pay 6000/- while she shunted out B Prasad of Grade Pay 66oo/-…… and with this order the cumulative grade pay total of the officers suspended in the first quarter of the financial year crossed the magical  figure of Rs. 1 Lakh”. Public would need a ready reckoner to appreciate the boldness of the job done by Bahanji!.

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